1. 58 minutes ago  /  50,143 notes

  2. Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*

    Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')

    ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?

    Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.

    Dad: *chokes into his drink*

    ROL: You should respect your elders.

    Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?

    Dad: *chokes on his drink again*

    ROL: *storms off*

    Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*

    Me: What?

    Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.

    59 minutes ago  /  29,734 notes  /  Source: i-do-not-have-a-url

  3. soufflesandbowties:

    50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

    (via the-great-amy)

    1 hour ago  /  173,853 notes  /  Source: soufflesandbowties

  4. (via thebeatlesordie)

    1 hour ago  /  443 notes  /  Source: thebeatlesordie

  5. highfunctioningmetacrisis:

are these two even real?

    highfunctioningmetacrisis:

    are these two even real?

    (via my-panic-day-182)

    2 hours ago  /  4,405 notes  /  Source: highfunctioningmetacrisis

  6. (via mikedirnty)

    2 hours ago  /  30,454 notes  /  Source: prettyflowerlion

  7. annabellehector:

crying

    annabellehector:

    crying

    (via screamingbloodymurder)

    7 hours ago  /  122,903 notes  /  Source: moonsilhouettes

  8. photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    7 hours ago  /  89,462 notes  /  Source: nocountryforoldjetpacks

  9. photo

    photo

    photo

    7 hours ago  /  98,273 notes  /  Source: dearnonacepeople

  10. digbysellars:

    when ppl compliment u

    image

    (via mikedirnty)

    7 hours ago  /  278,478 notes